I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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