No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize