I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize