I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
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just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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