He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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