I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize