im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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