Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize