it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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