I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize