she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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