I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize