I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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