At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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