Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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