did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize