one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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