my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
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When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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