yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
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The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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