you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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