He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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