i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize