i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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