i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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