This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize