Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
A+ Viking dick
Couch. On fire.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize