We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just had sex on a roof
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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