I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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