You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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