its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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