k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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