My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize