just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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