you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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