I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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