I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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