my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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