I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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