just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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