i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
no you cant smoke seaweed
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I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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