Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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