Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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