my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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