Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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