i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
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do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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