Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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