I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
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he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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