Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize