I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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