I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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